From this day forward, I promise to be in MORE pictures with my boys. To hand off my camera & have someone else capture us. To turn my iPhone around & take those horrible "SELFIES" that I despise so much---but is it a "selfie" if there is more than one person in the picture?!?
A girlfriend and I had a great heart to heart over this last work trip. I confessed to her that I have this horrible fear of leaving my boys without a mom. I am constantly thinking about what ifs, what if this plane, what if this bus, what if this car, what if cancer--I don't dwell long on them because I know there is a master plan and I have no control over it but I would be lying if I don't think about it. Often. My maternal grandmother died when my mom was 9, I know my mother has a lot of memories of her time with her mom but the pictures of them together are minimal. And growing up, my mom was ALWAYS the one taking the pictures so we really have very few pictures of the two of us & although there is still time to change that & we will, we won't be able to recreate images from my childhood. While my mom was in town this weekend, she almost insisted that I do this, I know how much she wishes she had those images too. So even though I don't know how much time I have with my boys, could be 50 years, could be 5 years (I only pray that it isn't because that wouldn't be near enough time with these two smiling faces) I am going to do my best in capturing us as a family, all of us. More pictures with Mom, more pictures with Dad, more pictures of Mom and Dad together and lots of family pictures.
On a similar but different New LIFE resolution note, I am going to start writing to my boys on birthdays and other special occasions. Not here on the blog, a REAL, TRUE handwritten letter, summing up each year of their lives and what my hopes and dreams are for them. I will neatly stash them away and at a significant date in their life, I will give the letters to them. Maybe it will be an 18th birthday, maybe their wedding day when I am no longer the WOMAN in their lives or maybe when they become a father for the first time. I may not know exactly what day that will be but the fact is that I want them to know exactly how much they have changed my life--for the better. & hopefully it will be something that they will cherish and hold close to the heart, maybe even share with their children some day. & a big thank you goes to another co-worker and his wife for this idea, they started this with their little boy & it made me tear up just reading about it & I knew at that point it was something I wanted to start with my boys.
Last but not least, we all know I love taking pictures of my boys. More importantly of our every day life & my phone has been my go to camera for quite some time now but that is going to change too. In late November I made the decision to step away from Oliver Beckett Photography for the time being & now that I am starting to have a little more time, I am finding that I am picking up my REAL camera and capturing our life again. I was going to try and do a picture a day but that might be a little hard since my full time job requires periodic travel & sometimes I don't get home until after dark so instead, I figured I would save a few of my favorites and do miscellaneous posts here and there, nothing but the pictures and a few words. It will go something like this...
The only thing better than baby feet…Superhero feet.