My boys. My soul.

I can't even begin to imagine the type of heartache in which the families of those precious, innocent children who were taken from them way too early are experiencing right now. Unimagineable. I cry just thinking about it & I hardly watched any coverage. I couldn't. I couldn't let my mind go there. I prayed though. I prayed hard. But all I could think about was how they woudln't get to hold their baby again. How when they dropped their angel off that morning, they didn't know that would be the last glimpse of them they would see. They last hug. The last kiss. I kept thinking about all the presents that wouldn't be opened on Christmas morning. How they wouldn't get the chance to learn to ride a bike, drive a car, break up with a boyfriend only to get back with him minutes later. My mind went a hundred different directions but it always came back to one thing--WHY?!? It just isn't fair.

My boys aren't old enough to know what is going on so we didn't talk about it to them. We prayed together. I told Kaden that some little boys and girls were hurt very badly and that their mommy and daddys are very sad right now and they could use some prayer. He asked why they were sad and all I could say to him was that they just were. He isn't ready for the cruelness that this world can bring & as his mother, all I want to do is protect him from all things evil but I know that is an impossible feat.

So this weekend there were a few more hugs. A few more kisses. Our bed was a little more crowded but I couldn't help it. I just wanted to hold onto them as tight as I possibly could. Tell them that I love them even more than I normally do. Afterall, they are my EVERYTHING & thinking about them not running through the doors into my arms again, just isn't somewhere that I can even go...

Our family is sending our love & prayers to Newton, CT. Know that the whole world is thinking about each and everyone of you. Your precious children & the amazing teachers (forever heroes) who lost their lives will never be forgotten.

Life is precious & if anything, we have been remind of just that. Hold your babies tight & don't let words go unspoken.